November 16, 2010

Reflecting...

So I'm in Baton Rouge for the 3rd time this orchestra season. When I am here I have a lot of time to myself (which is not a bad thing) to sit and think about things: past, present, future.
Lately I've been thinking back on all of the decisions I've made in this year. I think it's because all of a sudden I realized that 2010 is coming to an end! Already! It went by very quickly. I've felt this way all year. I remember thinking back in January how much happened in just 1 short month.

-New Years Eve concert with Baton Rouge Symphony
-1 week in New Orleans playing with the Louisiana Philharmonic
-1 week in Baton Rouge playing in a Chris Botti concert.
-Principal bassoon gig with the Tulsa Philharmonic

Since then, I've finished my first season with the Baton Rouge Symphony Orchestra and started my 2nd. I received my Personal Trainers license, Zumba and Zumba Toning Certification, CPR/First Aid Certification, Water Safety Certification, Water Fitness Certification, trained in Bags and Cycling. I teach at pretty much a different gym every night of the week except Sunday (gotta have those days off). I just accepted a job at a new gym and will hopefully establish enough clientele there that I can maybe thin out my traveling back and forth from 5 different places. The new Fitness One hired me as a personal trainer and cycling instructor. The target opening date is the 20th of this month! I realize I might have added just another destination to my cramped schedule but I'm really hoping that working at a "legit" gym I will be able to establish more of a permanent home. I love training at OU, but students can be unreliable and quite flaky as clients. I often find myself frustrated with them because they don't want to push as hard as I would like to push them. Fitness One is going to be an excellent facility and the people I've met are top notch so I'm super excited about getting started!

Seeing as how I've been trying to start a new career since August things have been a little tighter than I'm used to having a 9-6, M-F job. No surprise to me of course. I knew it was coming. It's been fun, it's been stressful, it's been an adventure. I am constantly amazed at how wonderful everyone has been!! They always have me in the front of their mind when extra classes/hours are available. They call me in for small jobs that they need "help" with, even though I'm pretty sure it could be handled by them alone. Turns out....they want me to succeed! Who knew!? As much as we seem to think people disappoint us on a day to day basis, let me tell you that is absolutely false! Yes, there are those we can't count on..I'm not completely naive, but for the most part people are good and gracious and they want to help you in any way they can! It's okay to see the best in people, they might surprise you!! I taught at a zumbathon a couple of weeks ago that was set up by one instructor for another who's family needed financial help. Their unborn baby is going to need heart surgery right after he is born, but insurance won't cover all of the costs. We raised over $3000!! If you have faith in people they will have faith in you and their support will carry you quite a long way. Never take that for granted. Otherwise you will get nowhere alone.

After reflecting on all of these things from 2010 I start thinking how different it could have been. What if I had decided to go through with the move to Baton Rouge?

-I wouldn't have had the connections I did to get started with the fitness part of my career which would have made life a living hell! Getting started is the hardest part, but having people who know and care about you to help you get started makes a world of difference.
- I could have been putting myself in huge financial trouble! Why do that if it's not totally necessary?
-I wouldn't have met all of the incredible people I have since starting in August. Other instructors and trainers, colleagues, friends, others.

I realize there would have been some good things about moving to Baton Rouge, but I'm so glad I didn't. I can't help but think of all the things I would have missed out on had I moved! I knew in my heart it wasn't the right time, but I wasn't sure why. I was even a little upset with myself for not taking that step. I felt like I had chickened out, and I beat myself up over it for months. All of my life people have been telling me that things happen for a reason or they happen when they are meant to happen. I always smiled and nodded because I knew they were trying to make me feel better for whatever reason, but a small part of me believes it now. I'm not saying I'm a die hard believer in Fate and that my life is already planned out for me. But I do believe there is a path and you choose which turns you take, which fork in the road, etc. I'm not going to get super philosophical or anything.

We often make decisions not based on our gut but based on what other people have to say about them. We may be afraid to make a choice because of what someone else will think. Well screw that! (easier said than done, I know). Do what feels right for you. Think about yourself and what makes you happy. You are the only one who has to fully live with the decision you make. If you're gut tells you not to move....don't move! If it tells you to move...pack up the U-Haul! Just listen to your heart....it will rarely steer you in the wrong direction.

To sum everything up...this has been an incredible year in so many different ways! One of best I think! I'm even coming to terms with and looking forward to 27! (after a month of adjusting).
I'm really happy I didn't move to Baton Rouge. Sometimes things just have a way of working themselves out and falling into place when you least expect it.

2 comments:

Amanda @ Life in bloom said...

Nice post :)

TJ said...

Thanks! I didn't know anyone actually read this thing :)